This Thing I Won't Help You With (PWA 4.1)

Phantasy Warrior Advance: This Thing I Won'T Help You With (PWA 4.1)

This comes up in so many games, yet it also comes up quite a bit in the grim reality of life.  "Let me tell you about this thing that would totally help you in your current situation!  I could help you with it, but I won't.  I'll just tell you about it."  It is a surprising thing to me how often people do this in games and, to a certain extent, how much we let them get away with it.

There is something entertaining to me about bureaucracy in a fantasy realm.  Generally, most fantasy settings (in games and such) have a lot more in common with the modern world than any sort of medieval society, but I rarely see enough modern red tape.  Go to the weapon shop and buy a magical, automatic crossbow?  No waiting period.  Buy a boat?  No licensing or insurance requirements.  Of course, it would be a super-not-fun game if you had to go through that kind of stuff.  The very idea that you have to go to "hero school" or go through a "heroic apprentice program" to be a hero is absurd, but when you consider how much certification and sanctioning we do in the modern age, it only makes sense that being an adventurer or a hero would have the same level of bureaucratic nonsense.

Some people may be wondering what "Rule 6" is.  No, this is not a subtle reference to some sort of strange Internet meme or some pornographic oddity.  But, as the joke continues into the next comic, I'll wait a bit before revealing that.

Always Check the Notice Board (PWA 3)

Phantasy Warrior Advance: Always Check the Notice Board

So, I have already mentioned several times that I was a big fan of the Quest for Glory series (formerly Hero's Quest) back in the 1990s.  Lori Ann and Corey Cole did an interesting thing bringing the concepts of a role-playing game to the classic "3D animated adventure game" format that Sierra On-Line had become so famous for.  There were puzzles to solve, monsters to fight, and skills to improve by using them.  Granted, the game did end up promoting some absurd results (such as spending the better part of an in-game day climbing trees or throwing rocks) but it was fun nonetheless.  A lot of my comic work (both this comic and its predecessor, the original Phantasy Warrior) has strong Quest for Glory influence.

In every Quest for Glory game, there would be an Adventurer's Guild (or equivalent) with a notice board posting quests, tasks, and general nonsense.  It was a weird idea in the realm of fantasy role-playing.  Classically, everything started out "in a tavern" or some similar nonsense.  Lori Ann and Corey decided to take a more modern approach.  If I really wanted somebody to go find my Cheetaur claws, why not post it on the local Adventurer's Guild notice board?  Looking for somebody to stop the Brigand King?  Post it!

Of course, even then they tended to make jokes about it, with the occasional absurd posting appearing as a joke.  It only makes sense.  For every serious quest giver posting on the notice board, there's bound to be some joker posting some sort of nonsense.  Here, I even put the business card of a local bard because that just seemed like the kind of thing you would expect to see.

For those wondering, this notice board intentionally has a lot of strange references and subtle in-jokes in it.  That is what happens when I stay up late building comic panels.  Hopefully, you can find something you find entertaining.

Four Letters Only, Please (PWA 2.1)

Phantasy Warrior Advance: Four Letters Only, Please

I always wondered, while playing the host of old console games, why I only had a small number of letters with which to name my character. Four letters? What kind of name do you get out of four characters? Of course, in English, four letters allows you a whole host of terrible names. Although I never did it myself, I had friends who used to run the gauntlet of "four letter words" for character names.

During the 16-bit era, games started adding two extra letters to character names.  Of course, I never really noticed it at the time. I just suddenly had the opportunity to name characters things that were longer than "Alex" or "Rolf." After a while, you get surprisingly tired of every character having four letter names. Of course, even with two extra letters, occasionally you get characters who have suspicious names, such as Final Fantasy VI's "Cyan." I remember having debates as to how his name was supposed to be pronounced. If only we knew the intended name was "Cayenne."

I did not really notice nor comprehend the whole name issue until Final Fantasy VII came out for the Sony Playstation. They had made a big fuss about expanding the character count for names all the way up to nine. Nine! All so they could fit the name "Sephiroth" into the character name boxes. Nowadays, it seems that I rarely encounter games where standard names do not fit. Extremely long names may be an issue, but the run-of-the-mill names like Andrew or Daniel fit in just fine.